tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post2588002193095679943..comments2023-11-02T01:51:25.812-07:00Comments on Confessions of a Cafe Writer: Poignant lonelinessCliffordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-82299432274129557992008-05-14T09:34:00.000-07:002008-05-14T09:34:00.000-07:00Carlos,I'm still on the fence about technologies p...Carlos,<BR/><BR/>I'm still on the fence about technologies place in all this. It's funny, I live near a university, so the expereince may be skewed, but I've been on the bus where it seems like 75 percent of the people are wearing iPODS, effectively blocking out the rest of the riders. On the other hand, like this instance, I've been pulled into conversation with strangers on the bus, but that's definitely the exception rather than the rule. Yes, we throw people into categories as a way of dealing, and it's a shame, but I don't know the solution. Hmm...this is leading me to another post...Cliffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-66275479072643383902008-05-14T05:44:00.000-07:002008-05-14T05:44:00.000-07:00You must draw a line between loneliness and being ...You must draw a line between loneliness and being alone. The vast majority of people like being alone ever so often, if for nothing else, to be able to rest; to shut external communication so the internal kind can occur.<BR/><BR/>Loneliness however, and its sadness, is one of the biggest problems of our society. It seems the more people we have to communicate (greater population density) and the more ways we have to communicate (technology) all conspire to separate people. Maybe it's because we're always so busy to pay attention to other people. Instead we just catalogue them according them to categories (age, race, sex, job and a quality like geek, loner, slutty, soccer mom, whatever) because we don't have the time nor the altruism to do anything else.<BR/>People are endlessly interesting, but they take time to get to know. We hardly want to know ourselves...Carlos Ferraohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16078108010019508206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-28018227351056875822008-05-09T11:34:00.002-07:002008-05-09T11:34:00.002-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Cliffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-77688375835847138032008-05-09T11:34:00.001-07:002008-05-09T11:34:00.001-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Cliffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-70194474764845900892008-05-09T11:34:00.000-07:002008-05-09T11:34:00.000-07:00Callie,I think you and Charles are perfect example...Callie,<BR/><BR/>I think you and Charles are perfect examples of of one of the misunderstandings loners have to deal with: being a loner does not mean you're aloof or a misanthrope. I too love the groups and the people in my life. But to be any good, to be able to be there for those people, I need space for myself. It's like being on a plane, where the steward/ess explains how if traveling with g child or someone who needs help, you must put your oxygen mask on first. My alone time is my oxygen mask.Cliffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-15794485988996565382008-05-09T11:11:00.000-07:002008-05-09T11:11:00.000-07:00I love to be alone, because that's when I feel tru...I love to be alone, because that's when I feel truly me. As you know, I'm totally gregarious and surround myself with people--and a wonderful spouse--lots of friends, groups, etc...but I feel, as you do, that all that aggregation of people is just a cover, is what we're supposed to do. I mean, I enjoy social activity a whole lot, but it also sort of winds me up, makes me into someone I'm not, really. When I'm alone...writing, reading, listening to music, just being alone in the house...that's the best.<BR/><BR/>I don't get nearly enough of that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-5195263422668142702008-05-09T10:32:00.000-07:002008-05-09T10:32:00.000-07:00Charles,I just needed to make a comment about how ...Charles,<BR/><BR/>I just needed to make a comment about how astute your observation was about feeling alone when you're with other people. I so can relate...in fact, the lonliest place in the world, for me, is a party.Cliffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-33152387455991388252008-05-09T10:24:00.000-07:002008-05-09T10:24:00.000-07:00Charles,Thanks for sharing that. There's a lot of ...Charles,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing that. There's a lot of us out there...and a lot of us happen to be creative folks. There's an AMAZING book: Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto, that deals with people who find solace in their own company. It was a revelation to me, and made the niggling doubts vanish. I think, after discovering that book, for the first time in my life I not only turly accepted that part of my personality, but embraced it.Cliffordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07981816941459227266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6413407.post-3568978982067782722008-05-09T10:08:00.000-07:002008-05-09T10:08:00.000-07:00I'm a loner myself, but the primary times I've fel...I'm a loner myself, but the primary times I've felt "alone" is when I'm with others. by myself, I never feel lonely because I have so much that I want to do and read and write and think. I am glad that I have Lana, though. I'm sure I'd experience genuine loneliness if I didn't.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.com