Confessions of a Cafe Writer

Transparent Gadgets!

2010-04-04T16:36:00.001-07:00

I found some transparent gadgets for Windows 7 desktop, and, well, they’re beautiful. Here’s my current desktop (listening to The Weakerthan’s Live CD through the Zune player).

Back in the day (well, 2004 anyway)

2010-02-24T19:11:00.001-08:00

Flat 3D

2009-12-19T14:23:00.001-08:00

You know, no one could be happier than me that finally, quality films are being shot in 3D.

Or are they?

Yesterday I went to Avatar, eager to be thrilled by the visuals, ready to forgive the dated plot, and expecting to grin at a few depth-enhanced moments of wonder.

Yeah, I was thrilled by the CGI wizardry, which appeared to be a mashup between live action and CGI wizardry, and though I managed to forgive the by-the-numbers plot until the final act, I didn’t get my 3D grin.

And this isn’t the first time. UP was amazingly flat for a 3D film, and so were most others released in the last couple of years. The only notable exception being My Bloody Valentine 3D.

And I think the reason may be that in their attempts to keep the audience from experiencing any eye fatigue (Avatar is long, for example) and to shy away from “gimmick” scenes, they’ve managed to create a very flat 3D experience.

Rather than use 3D to enhance the scene and pull the audience into the flick, it’s just there. To do 3D justice you have to map out your shots. What’s in the foreground? The midspace? The background? Even though Avatar’s scenes were lush and evocative, they very rarely felt “deep”. For instance, they had these beautiful jellyfish-like seed pods that gracefully and gently floated through a number of scenes, but they never floated off the screen, out into the audience, to bring us into their reality. Very puzzling.

At its very best, 3D can turn the screen into a window and bridge the gap between audience and performance. It can help pull you into the story. One of my favorite movie moments was in the 3D version of House of Wax. During the final act, Charles Bronson’s character runs into the frame from the lower right corner of the screen. But it didn’t looking like he was running into the frame from off camera, it looked just like someone in the theater had leapt from our world into the world of the film. It was a startling, thrilling moment as the wall between these realities tore and I was there, merely a few rows away from the action. That was a true, magical moment that I’d love to experience again. I can do flat at home (and very soon, flat 3D, I suspect). I go to a 3D movie for that something extra.

Those old, 3-D red/blue flicks had it all over the current crop. Hollywood, come on, bring it on!

Kindle it! Tablet Style (:

2009-11-14T14:03:00.001-08:00

As some of you know, I’ve been an eBook fan for years. I’ve been counting the days until eBooks really took off, and well, it looks like the time is now. Amazon has been amazingly successful with its Kindle; Sony has plodded along with superior hardware but little marketshare; Barnes and Nobles got all the geekboys in a tizzy with the announcement of The Nook, and well, there are probably a dozen other lesser players that have released or are about to release readers.

Finally, earlier this week, Amazon released their Kindle reader software for the PC,with a special nod to multi-touch tablet PCs. That, in itself, does the heart good. I immediately downloaded the software and checked to see if my current programming tome was available.

It was. So I bought the damn thing.

You see, the book is over 1300 pages long, making it unwieldy to hold, horrible to carry with you, and it weighs as much as my tablet PC. So, even though I didn’t have the money for another copy of the book, I bought it. Check out this screen shot:

Dig this – I’m actually able to resize the Kindle reader so that I can have my book on the right side of the screen and my IDE on the left. With Windows 7, it makes switching and resizing windows really nice, too. Anyway, it’s soo much better than trying to manage a HUGE book on my laptop desk along with my tablet. I can now read it on the bus, at school, virtually anywhere.

The only real complaint I have is one that the original version of the Kindle had – it’s too easy to accidentally flip pages! Do you see those light grey borders on the sides of the Kindle reader page? Click either one of those and you’ll advance a page ahead or a page back. I find that as I’m programming I sometimes need to move the windows so I can see more and then move back to the Kindle Reader software…when I do, I often click the border and have to figure out what page I was on. The Kindle software also doesn’t do page numbers – instead, it tells me that I’m 60% through the document and identifies “locations”. The page I’m currently on is “Locations 13,739 – 46” out of a total of 23,294 locations! Okay, that’s not the most friendly way to do it, but I assume it has something to do with Whispernet, their syncing software and the fact that page sizes differ whether you’re using a Kindle (either size), an iPhone, or a PC. I can deal with that, but I would really like it if it offered a little customization. Right now, other than setting the font size and placing bookmarks, the software is pretty bare bones.

Another minor problem is the way it handles graphics. In Microsoft Reader software, for instance, a graphic could be clicked on and made full size – which is GREAT. In Amazon’s Kindle, you don’t get that option. There’s also not an option to zoom in, so it’s what you see is what you get. That would be fine, but the code samples in my book are inset as graphics and can’t be resized. And they’re small. Very small. Of course, my tablet PC is a high resolution little guy – 1440 DPI on a 12.1 inch display – so text tends to be small anyway. So while I LOVE the Kindle software, it’s more about the selection of books than the actual implementation. If Microsoft Reader hadn’t crashed and burned, I would be happy to use that software and own a gazillion books in that format. Unfortunately, it never took off, and Microsoft seems to have abandoned it well before eBooks finally came of age.

Hmm…have they really come of age? My guess is that if each manufacturer insists on using their own version of DRM, the future of eBooks is rather bleak. Why can’t businesses learn from past history? Nobody wants a gazillion formats hanging out there. My guess, if this isn’t resolved quickly, there will be a shakeout. I’m putting my money on Amazon, because let’s face it, they’re currently the it-girl when it comes to eBooks, and well, they are where America goes to shop. I read recently that the number 1 item in both unit sales and revenue on their site is the Kindle. If they open it up to other vendors’ eBook reader devices, which they should, it’s game over for the other formats. Adding the PC was a stroke of genius – as was the iPhone – so they’ve got a serious head start on the other players in the market.

Okay, back to programming. Man, it sure feels good to update this blog after such a long lapse. Yeah, I’ve been on Facebook, but sometimes being able to put down your feelings/thoughts/ideas in a more complete manner is nice, too. I think I’m back.

Skunk bites

2009-08-22T08:00:00.001-07:00

Last night I met up with a friend and his visiting niece at the top of a cliff, overlooking the ocean. It was a beautiful, August evening. Chilly, but bearably so. And the view was gorgeous, as usual.

When we left, we met at our cars and talked for an hour or so…as we did, we saw maybe three to four skunks saunter out from the park and into the neighborhood. We held our breath, not wanting to disturb them. This is what lead to the dream.

In the dream I was in bed and a skunk crossed behind my head and climbed up onto my windowsill and tunneled behind the blinds. I was holding my breath, not wanting to startle him. I wanted to move, but I was tangled in the covers and so sleepy that I was having trouble fully waking up. Finally, I was able to scoot a tiny bit to my left, where my head made contact with something warm and fuzzy. I gingerly reached over and sure enough it was another skunk. My fingers curled around its muzzle as it rooted. I didn’t know what to do or how to get out of this. As I slowly removed my hand the skunk bit my index finger, hard, and I pulled it quickly away.

I think my dream self work up fully then, and began moving forward on the bed, pushing up with my elbows as I fought with the covers. That’s when the skunk fetuses dropped into my lap. I’m not sure how, but in my dream it made some kind of sense and I pushed at them. One of the fetuses fell on the floor and it was on.

The skunk at my side bit into me and the one in the window jumped on me and began biting and then others appeared and joined in. I was still stuck in the covers and still afraid of them spraying me. And I began to struggle and whimper…

And that’s when I woke up. I think I whimpered aloud, in the real world, and woke myself up.

I’m really having a hard time with this dreaming thing, and what’s up with the nightmare? God, I hate it. If someone had told me that meditation would unleash my dream state, I’m not sure I would have gone along with it. Now that it has, I wonder if it’s possible to bottle it up again.

Dreamy

2009-08-04T08:25:00.001-07:00

I haven’t dreamed with any regularity since I was a pre-teen. It’s weird, I know, but that’s the way it is. I heard you go insane if you don’t dream, so in my vanity I assume I do dream but I just don’t remember them.

A couple weeks ago, the dreams returned.

I dream now, every night, and I have to admit that it’s rather disconcerting. Not because they’re nightmares, but because the dream state is so unfamiliar to me. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.

This most definitely is a side effect of the success of my meditating. I’m sure it’s good for me, probably the most concrete evidence that the meditation is “working”, but still, I find it unsettling.

I know I’ll get used to it, but in the meantime I’ll just have to deal with that moment of wooziness as I exit one world and enter another.

Meditation also promises insight and enhanced creativity among other things. Those are more to my liking!

Managing the down time

2009-08-03T11:40:00.001-07:00

As some of you know, I’ve been working on programming during my unemployment. I’ve also been working on me, trying to learn to relax and let go and manager my problems with meditation. They’re both going well, despite my innate impatience, but one thing still is kind of vexing.

Having fun.

I waste a lot of time not having fun…mainly, because I don’t have money. But here I am, in San Francisco, living right across the street from Golden Gate Park, and I’m not taking advantage of all the low cost, fun, amazing things in my own backyard. So yesterday I decided to do something about it. I’m going to make sure that this time of unemployment isn’t wasted. In fact, tomorrow I’m going to the SF MOMA, as the first Tuesday of the month is FREE day!!! Just missed the FREE day for the Asian Art Museum (first Sunday of the month), so I’ve put it on my calendar for next month. Really, there’s so much to do it’s silly not to.

From here on out, being laid off is going to be an adventure.

A Tale of Two Footers

2009-08-03T11:31:00.001-07:00

I have two e-mail footers; one is a staid woodcut with address and a link to my business site, the other is a doodle, like the ones on this blog, with a link to this page. For business correspondence and job hunting I always use the business footer. Right before I click send, I select my business account which magically switches the footer and return e-mail address.

I always do this.

Except when I don’t.

Last night I got an email from an employer, stating that they received over 200 applications for their contract copy writing position, and after going through them all, they selected a few people who they wanted to speak with. I was one of them.

What surprised me most of all is the fact that this was one of those rare (though not as rare as I’d like) instances where I clicked “Send” and simultaneously sucked in a breath, realizing I hadn’t changed the footer!

I thought, oh well, I won’t be hearing from that one. Afterall, what an unprofessional presentation! And a link to my blog rather than my business web site?

So when I received the email last night, it got me thinking.

Recruiters are people. And like all people they are curious. And when bombarded with one business-savvy resume after another, well, they all begin to look the same. Sure, backgrounds are important, but when many of the applicants have the minimal requirements, how do you really select among them?

Maybe, I’m thinking, that’s what happened here. Maybe, as the recruiter shuffled through the stack of virtual applicants, mine had a face. Okay, not exactly my face, but a face nonetheless. I use the term face both figuratively and broadly; to mean that the recruiter knew a little bit more about who I am, based on my footer/blog, than he did about most of the other applicants.

Maybe he just liked my doodle.

It’s hard to say, but in this amazingly difficult time at job hunting, maybe it’s time to add a hint of personality to our staid business presentations. Maybe we shouldn’t be afraid of “who” we are beyond the experience and the degrees. After all, in every interview I’ve ever been in, I’ve felt that “who” I was played as much of a part in the decision-making process as “what I’ve done”. Maybe, at that stage of the game, more. So maybe it would be wise to drop a hint or two, in ever business solicitation, about who the person is doing the solicitation.

I don’t know for sure, but over the last few years, more than once I’ve felt that it’s the non-professional stuff that has made all the difference. I’m not advocating you lay out your life story, but a little glimpse at the person behind the words.

Post Meditation Bliss

2009-07-29T09:12:00.001-07:00

I just finished my meditation for this morning, and when I opened my eyes, this is what I saw. My forever fighting cats, snuggled together, enjoying the warmth of each other like they used to do before the fighting began a couple years ago. Now, they pretty regularly groom each other, but it’s fleeting and usually results in hissing and occasional swats. I haven’t seen them like this in a long, long time.

Whenever I meditate, Cougar is attracted and comes and sits in my lap. It’s like he’s attracted to my calm. So this morning, after my phone interview, I began my morning meditation, and sure enough, Cougar showed up. I gently petted him as I continued to meditate. A couple minutes later, he left…I was focused inward, and didn’t realize he was only a foot away, snuggling with his brother. Nice way to begin the day…

Man, I need a better camera on my phone.

Interview with theEmployer

2009-07-28T19:27:00.001-07:00

After about a month of nothing, finally, I've got a "real" interview lined up for tomorrow. Am I looking forward to it? You bet. And I hate interviews as much as the next guy. Move, actually. But the the job, through an agency, sounds interesting.

Training materials and tech docs.

I haven't really written any coursework aside from my time as a teacher, that is, which shouldn't be underestimated in this market. It's something I believe I have an affinity for.

Now I just need to convince a couple professional. of this. And the CEO, who I meet with later in the afternoon.

And I realize, more than anything else, they'll be interviewing me.

Not the writer, the former teacher, nor my technology knowledge.

Me. The person. How I will present their company, how jovial, how flexible, how human.

I'm good at human. Really. I am.

Graduation Day!

2009-07-19T08:55:00.001-07:00

Sunny and 85

2009-07-13T21:57:00.001-07:00

We had a very sunny day today…and it hit 85 degrees, which, for SF, is a serious heat wave. Should be back to around 71 tomorrow, which is just about where it’s supposed to be.

I was working, sitting in front of my window this afternoon and took this snapshot with the Web cam. Hmm. Even my Web cam doesn’t know how to act when it get’s this bright and sunny in the city.

Beginning week 8…

2009-07-13T15:55:00.001-07:00

Just began the last week of The 8 Minute Meditation…this week, we combine some of the things we learned during the previous 7 weeks. Also working in breathing meditations via The Meditation Podcast, so I’m upping my daily meditation to 30 minutes whenever possible.

I am my father’s son

2009-07-13T13:27:00.001-07:00

He made me this way.

You see, my dad didn’t believe in giving up. He didn’t believe in failure. He didn’t believe in “can’t”. So when I went to him with a question, his response was always something along the lines of “sound it out”, even when the ‘e’ was silent. So I did, and in the process, I learned not to ask questions. To depend on no one but myself.

So I spent most of the weekend struggling with my C++ homework. It was grueling. It was painful. It was confusing, and 10 hours in, I was no closer to ‘done’ than when I’d begun. So I went to class today, empty-handed. Oh, I had my assignment, but it was about 50% complete, and that 50% didn’t work.

And I was ready for my ‘F’ on the assignment, because I’d done my best and failed (dad also instilled the importance of doing one’s best – if you had, you had nothing to feel bad about). Anyway, it turned out that many many students were just as confused as I was and sent the instructor emails asking questions. So he gave us a little more instruction today and gave us another day to complete the project.

Lucky? Yeah, real lucky. It’s still not gonna be easy, but tonight, before I close my eyes, I’ll be able to do so knowing I have either come up with the result or come damn close.

I need to get over my inability to ask for help. I really do.

I need to create

2009-07-12T11:42:00.001-07:00

I’m laid off again. And being laid off is terrible, as anyone who’s ever been laid off can attest to. The problem is that when you’re laid off, you end up doing very little. You end up spending your free time wondering when the next pay check will come in and when you can buy that other shoe. You think about vacations you can’t take, places you’d rather be, and things you’d like to buy.

And you forget about what you’ve got.

Time to read that book you’ve been wanting to read
Time to explore your city and environs (heck, I live in SF for chrissakes!)
Time to add to your skill set, making you even more marketable
Time to exercise
Time to volunteer at that worthy cause you’ve been all excited about
Time to create

Let’s do it!

One more week...

2009-07-11T23:22:00.001-07:00

I just finished the last day of week 7 of the 8 Minute Meditation program, so in one week I will have finished the first phase of my meditation program.

I'm feeling especially tense these days and I've had a headache all day, so I did a 20-minute breathing meditation (The Meditation Podcast) right afterwards.

I'm still tense, the headache is better but not gone, but I'm feeling a little more relaxed. Again, I'm amazed at how easy it's become to quiet my mind during meditation. This feels like something that's actually going to become a regular part of my routine.

Man, I hope so.

Rubbing butts with strangers

2009-07-08T18:18:00.001-07:00

Of all the indignities of riding SF Muni, the worst has to be rubbing butts with strangers. If you ride Muni you know what I mean as you’ve no doubt rubbed your share of unfamiliar butts.

If you haven’t, it goes like this. First they pack you in like sardines; people standing belly-to-belly and back-to-back in the aisle, while the driver bellows “Move back!” at every stop as he tries to shoehorn in another half dozen people. It’s a verbal cattle prod, but since it’s not the real McCoy, the cattle have caught on to the bluff. A couple people shuffle, moving a foot here and a foot there, but once you’re rubbing butts, the desire to acquiesce diminishes.

So here I am again. Riding the bus regularly, rubbing butts with people I’d rather not rub butts with as I move through the throng to the exit.

Life’s little indignities. Heh.

Mute Mind

2009-07-04T12:12:00.001-07:00

I’m almost finished with week 6 of my 8 week meditation program. By the end of the 8 weeks, I should have crossed a line in the process of becoming a meditater.

This week though, I feel like I’ve already crossed an important line. Being able to quiet my mint – to acknowledge my thoughts unemotionally and then just let them fade away. It’s happening more and more. And often, it’s an unconscious occurrence. It just is. That’s a major accomplishment for me. Really.

I’ve been meditating once to twice a day, so I figure it will be easy, once I’ve graduated from the 8-week program, to increase the amount of time I meditate per session.

This feels good.

Voyage to now

2009-06-20T08:47:00.001-07:00

I’m working on the 4th week of the 8 Minute Meditation program, and the last couple days I’ve failed, and haven’t done my practice. I’ve been very good up to now, usually doing two to three sessions a day instead of just one, so I wasn’t too concerned as I sat down and did my practice today.

Week four has turned out to be the best so far. The idea is to sit there quietly and notice your thoughts. When you do, you simply label the thought “Past” or “Future”. You can say it to yourself, or say it aloud, and let the thought go away on it’s on. Like magic, it works. As soon as the word passes my lips, the thought is gone, even forgotten, and I’m again firmly rooted in the present. The now. The calm.

I’ve got a busy day ahead of me, but between each “thang”, I’m going to do this meditation again. On Monday, I begin week 5. Getting close to finishing the base program (8 weeks) and exploring the next stage in my development. Good, necessary stuff.

Meditating my butt!

2009-06-09T09:47:00.001-07:00

Week three of the 8 Minute Meditation program has you noticing body sensations. This is day two for me, and today was surprisingly successful. Allowing your mind to notice body sensations unbiddeno was easier than I imagined. Did okay yesterday, too.

My mind did wander a bit, but I was able to let the thoughts go and return to noticing my body pretty easily. I plan to do this meditation again today, right before bed time.

Oh, I highly recommend this program, but I think it’s important to purchase the accompanying CD. You use the CD instead of an egg timer to keep track of how much time has elapsed, and every minute or so Victor Davich reminds you of your goal and tells you that if your mind is wandering, allow it, then return your attention to your body (or breathing, or whatever the goal of the week is).

Hated it!

2009-06-08T23:52:00.001-07:00

I just got back from hanging out with good friends. We began the evening by going to see UP. Fortunately, good pasta and good company saved what could have been a disastrous evening out!

Okay, I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority here, but for what it’s worth, this is the worst animated movie I’ve seen in YEARS. On Facebook I summed it up as: maudlin, pedantic, and dull.

Animation: Ranged from good to insipid. Overly cute and stylized characters melted away the human story they were trying to develop. Of course, they’ll likely make cute dolls for your Happy Meal.

Story: Using a heavyset Asian kid and an elderly guy as the main characters was laudable…making them dull clichés though, not so much. The human story was negated by the decision to make the old guy as invincible as The Hulk on his best day. Stupid.

Sense of Wonder: Actually, this surprised me more than anything else in the movie. So much promise but all we ended up with was a spastic, painted ostrich with a chocolate festish. Bah!

3-D: Surprising lackluster. The best 3-D moment was the Disney Logo before the movie began…they ran it again at the end, which goes to show they knew where their strengths were.

Funny moments: Okay, let’s see. The dogs playing poker. No, that was slightly amusing, but funny? And then there was…oh, never mind.

Insufferable bits: Heavy-handed “we’re so in love I could spit” scenes, slow pace, action scenes that defied both human ability and wit, animation that was rather flat and uninspired. Weak 3-D. Dreary musical score. Worthiness for the sake of worthiness.

Final grade: D-

Working my way out of a job

2009-06-06T17:32:00.001-07:00

Work is weird. Weird working during weird times. Changes both unsought and untenable. Changes from within without recourse. Getting what you want when you want it least and then losing it all again before you’ve had a taste. Looking. Seeking. Changing.

It’s time.

Naked Sound

2009-06-05T09:15:00.001-07:00

I’m on week two of the 8 Minute Meditation program and just completed this mornings session. This week, Naked Sound, the goal is to sit quietly and listen to the sounds around you without attaching any emotional context, etc. When your mind wanders, you listen, then let it go and return your attention to the sounds around you.

It was pretty quiet today and my mind was ALL OVER THE PLACE. The author says it’s okay, the only bad meditation is the one you didn’t do. And while I get that, I really do, today’s meditation sucked. I’m going to try again tonight.

Three tablespoons per pint

2009-06-04T07:25:00.001-07:00

So I bought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby the other day, and being both lactose intolerant and overweight, I decided to limit myself to ONE tablespoon of goodness a day.

There are exactly three tablespoons of ice cream in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, in case you were wondering.

Random Thought #687

2009-06-01T16:49:00.001-07:00

Boiled eggs still crack.

Why I haven’t killed my cats #47

2009-05-30T21:24:00.001-07:00

Pained

2009-05-30T09:30:00.001-07:00

The last week has been rough, and I guess, the preceding ones too. Not sure why, exactly, and usually I can put my finger on it, but this time it’s not clear. I know it was so because my TMJ is acting up. My jaw is popping like crazy, and each pop sends a spike of pain through my jaw. It’s not debilitating as it can become if I’m not very careful, but it’s there, and it’s sending me this warning:

Watch yourself, ignore me at your own peril.

So I listen. Because I have no other choice. If I don’t, the problem will excalate until the pain is non-stop, as sharp as the pain of a snapped bone, and it will completely incapacitate me for a week or more. This has happened to me three times. Not sure I could make it through another bout with my sanity in tact. Really. So the only thing I can do when my TMJ begins to flare up is to slow down, pull in, and take care of myself. Or else, the problem will escalate to dangerous proportions. So if I seem a bit aloof or non-responsive this week (and next), don’t take it personal. Hopefully, by the end of next week, I’ll be out of the danger zone.

Writing the real world

2009-05-29T11:22:00.001-07:00

From Spirits of the Undead: A Tale of the Shadow Walkers

Richard fidgeted. Without his tablet PC, he didn’t know what to do with his hands. He wanted to sit on them, to stay the need to write, but that didn’t seem an appropriate response.

Heh.

Do you know how many quarts in a gallon?

2009-05-29T10:34:00.001-07:00

I’m sitting in Starbucks (yeah, I know, but it’s close to work), absorbed in my editing, and like this middle aged guy comes in and his friend, who’s waiting for him at the table behind my chair says, “Do you know how many quarts are in a gallon? How many ounces?”. Okay, it wasn’t “hello, how are you”, but I guess, in a pinch, it works.

The guy asking the question is probably in his late 30s, but if you weren’t looking, you wouldn’t know it. He’s wearing a suit but sounds like he’d be more comfortable on a surf board. California in the negative sense. Oblivious to the volume of his words in the American sense. Clueless in…well, all senses.

Arrgggh. My biases are showing. Damn. Need to work on that.

I've got class!

2009-05-27T17:29:00.001-07:00

Okay, I didn't think it was going to happen but it did: I just enrolled in a C++ programming class that begins in two weeks.

I need it. Bad. Career. Personal growth. Fun.

Yeah, you heard me right. Fun. I actually think programming can be fun. Creative in a way.

Class meets four days a week. Cost $77. Book is over $100. Gotta love community colleges ...while you can.

Four Barrel: Cafe Visit #89

2009-05-27T15:22:00.001-07:00

Okay, I stumbled across this cafe and knew I had to check it out. It’s in The Mission, which is fast becoming THE spot in SF for a great cuppa Joe, what with Philz and Ritual Grounds also in the neighborhood. Anyway, the tables in this place are made from massive barn beams exiting from the wall and terminating into the floor. On one wall, four boar heads hang, overlooking the proceedings. In the back quarter is the mighty roaster, it’s fan belt churning as employees lug humongous bags of beans across the floor. So the atmosphere is a definite plus.

And then there’s the coffee.

Perfect. Just perfect. Had a soy latte and in addition to it looking good, it tasted equally so. Very smooth and creamy. In fact, I think they’re using the same beans/brews as Ritual Grounds, about 5 blocks away and home of the very best cuppa Joe in the city.

Okay, here’s the rub. This is a coffee lovers spot first and foremost. I arrived a little after noon and there was a single croissant left in the pastry case. No food. At all. Not a lot of non-coffee offerings either. But get this – nomads beware! I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a less-friendly atmosphere for working. It’s obviously intentional, and frankly, with coffee this good they can get away with it. I think there was only one other person on a laptop when I was there. This place has NO outlets and NO wifi! In this day and age that’s more than odd! Come for the coffee, then leave.

Coffee: A+ – this is the place to be for a good cuppa joe
Atmosphere: A+ -- Beautiful. Fairly comfortable
Social atmosphere: B -- Good. More couches would be nice though
Outlets: F – None
Hours: B- (M-S: 7-8, Sun 8-8)
Free Wifi: F – Not available
Paid Wifi: F -- None
Nomads: F -- Seek other places to get your work on

Overall Grade: B+ This place has it goin on as the coffee rocks and the atmosphere is inviting. That is, unless you need to get some work done. A B+ may seem a little high, but for hanging with friends and sharing a good cuppa joe made from freshly roasted beans, well, you could do much worse.

Redirect your attention inward

2009-05-27T14:55:00.001-07:00

I re-started my meditation practice on Monday. I never finished the 8-week program I’d embarked on – made it about four weeks in and then, blamo!, something got in the way. So on Monday, as I’ve said, I restarted it. And wow, today was definitely like day one again. My mind kept wandering during the 8 minute meditation, so I kept having to reign it back in. It’s okay, it’s all part of the practice, but really, I’d gotten much better at shutting the little magpie up! It felt like all the progress I’d made the first go round was lost to me. Sigh. I should have never lapsed. Hopefully, by week’s end, I’ll have regained some lost ground.

Being able to calm myself and shut down the mental chatter is important to me. Anything else is just window dressing.

Blue Coffee: Cafe Visit #87

2009-05-16T10:31:00.001-07:00

This morning, before going to work, I stopped for coffee at Blue Bottle Coffee in Hayes Valley. I’d heard that Blue Bottle was coffee to die for, and since I love coffee to die for, well, it had been on my list ever since I heard about it. I arrived around 8:30 am this morning, and there was a line. The shop has no seating…it’s actually located in an alley…and, well, it’s a converted garage.

So, was this the real deal or was it one of those overhyped “finds” that we all love to find. I got in line to find out. There were like a dozen people in front of me, so the wait was appreciably long, causing the anticipation to rise. I bought an iced New Orleans coffee flavored with chicory and an olive oil shortbread cookie.

First the cookie. Delicious. Very lightly flavored with olive oil, so there was but a whisper of an aftertaste. Definitely a 10.

Now, the coffee. Hmm. I like iced lattes. I really do. And this iced coffee while tasty, wasn’t really that special. The chicory gave it a mocha flavor, and I’m not all that moved by mochas. In fact, I like my coffee coffee flavored, thank you very much. Heh. Anyway, the iced coffee was good, and probably would be even more good on a rare, hot day. So, while I’m not ready to give Blue Bottle the heads up, it at least deserves a nervous tick motion of the head to the left. I’ll visit again and try something else before making a final judgement.

Tonight, the writers come out

2009-05-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

Okay, I’m getting ready to start work. I work EVERY weekend, so today I’m using some vacation time and leaving early so that I can get to Writers with Drinks on time. And hang with good people, old and new. So looking forward to it. But I realize, working EVERY weekend is for the birds. It makes me angry. Grrr! So I’m thinking, I need a new attitude or a new job. Whichever.

Confessions of a Hopeless Tablet PC Aficionado

2009-05-07T21:36:00.001-07:00

I just got out of my writer’s group where they reviewed the first 80 pages of my novel, “Spirits of the Undead”, and the first thing that was said was: “You can only have one character per novel use a tablet PC!” Everyone chimed in in agreement.

Funny.

Sad.

But yeah, funny.

Never take sick days when you’re sick

2009-05-02T23:43:00.001-07:00

I find I don’t take sick days when I’m sick. I take them when I need them, when I wake up and just can’t face it, or the stress of trying to deal with other facets of life has gotten the better of me. This happens once, maybe twice a quarter. And as a result, I think it helps keep me from having to take sick days when I’m phsyically sick. Knock wood I don’t jinx myself, but actually, I think I’m on to something here…

I began doing this because I have a crippling case of TMJ…when it gets out of control, I’m down for the count. Once, I was in mortal pain for nearly two weeks…so much pain, I couldn’t do anything other than writhe in pain. Couldn’t even watch television (yeah, I had one back then). I now watch myself and try to keep my stress level manageable. People who create stress, rather than help alleviate it, are summarily dismissed. I don’t put myself in stressful situations, if I can help it, and over the years I’ve been able to manage the TMJ more effectively.

So the next time you wake up and really don’t want to face the day, call the boss, tell em you’re sick, and crawl back into bed…or go to the beach…or the movies…or a bike ride. You owe it to yourself. And if I’m right, it'll result in you having to take fewer days off when you’re actually sick, because you won’t be! Everybody wins.

Deep Purple

2009-04-30T10:40:00.001-07:00

The bathroom he shared with the other tenants was never clean; it smelled of the piss and pot of those who didn’t have a pot to piss in.

I swear I didn't write that. Really.

Update: The paragraph after that, and the one after that makes the above seem like pure art. How is this possible? Let's just say there's a character, a hooker, who calls herself Sophie B. Hawt and move on.

Drink deeply

2009-04-30T09:51:00.001-07:00

I’m sitting in a Starbucks (don’t ask), drinking a very hot cup of tea. African Red Bush. Which is rooibos tea. I love rooibos tea, though I generally tend toward black teas. Okay, back to editing…

Literary license revoked

2009-04-28T18:46:00.001-07:00

I'm editing a novel on the tablet, and as I edit a confrontation scene outside a cafe, I wrote:

My tablet PC translated my glyphs to:

The vampire looked away, to the safe beyond.

Wow, I like that even better.

Eargasm

2009-04-28T08:34:00.001-07:00

I’m listening to the new CD from Jill Sobule…and man, I’m lovin’ it. This is music pure and simple. The woman solicited her fan base in order to get the money to make it. And she got it. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear about her solicitation until it was too late, or I would have scraped up a donation.

Wow, her quirky autobiographical lyrics make me smile.

Thanks Jill. Really, thanks.

Don’t be hungry

2009-04-24T09:58:00.001-07:00

I’m in the movie theater, waiting for Watchmen to start, and since I’m the ONLY one in the theater, I thought I’d take this downtime to blog about the pre-movie experience.

Okay, I ate before I came. Smart. But I wanted something to munch on. The theater is offering more food these days, but tell me, who pays $13.50 for three chicken strips and frys? Yowza! Do they realize that we’re in the midst of a depression?

Okay, there was just a quote on the screen: “The more I like me, the less I want to play someone else.” Jaime Lee Curtis. Hmm…okay, that was pretty deep for an actor.

So I digress. I’ve been meaning to get to Watchmen for a while…was trying to go with friends, but it just got a little too difficult to time my implusivity with their schedules. So here I am.

I’m still alone, but I’m really early. Previews won’t start for another ten minutes. Oh damn, a couple of guys just walked in. So much for my private showing. Oh well, oh hell, oh shucks.

Oh, I forgot my glasses and the rez is so high on this screen that I had to blow it up so I can see the screen…and see is a relative term. Heh.

Okay, the Movie Watcher program just began…oh wait,we’re getting a Fandango commercial. I’m so over their paper bag puppets. Move on.

Now there are about twenty people in the theater with me, and they’ve all chosen to sit near me. Jeezopete, am I like the center of the universe or what? Ah well, the illusion of a private showing is dead for sure now.

***POST MOVIE***

Nice. Not great, but very good. Comments and observations on human nature wrapped around a simple, yet effective, mystery. A little long, yet not long enough, if that makes sense. They could have done a little better job on defining the costumed vigilantes…it’s seems they were regular people who chose to dress up and clean up the streets, but there were too many instances that were at odds with this. Oh, and before I forget, the basic concept of this was STOLEN by the makers of The Incredibles. Sure, it was mostly just the concept of the heros and their place in society, but that’s a key element of this and stealing, even if you have fun with it, is stealing. Shameful.

SPOILER ALERT: Great missed opportunity…when the smartest guy in the world disassembles Dr. Manhattan, and doesn’t know that Dr. M can reconstitute himself, it made me wonder – is he really smarter than Dr. Manhattan? Isn’t he really the second smartest man in the world? And the missed opportunity? A chance to use his error to make a statement about being human – to be human is to make mistakes, so even the smartest man in the world will still make mistakes from time to time. Overall, I felt like a lot of the bigger ideas were a little unclear due to the compression of events into a 3 hour movie…but definitely worth talking about. Great post movie discussions probably came out of this one…

Bathroom habits

2009-04-23T00:46:00.001-07:00

Fenix closes the door when he has to go to the bathroom. I don’t. You see, I live alone, and have for years now, so I’ve gotten lax.

So yeah, Fenix has better bathroom habits than me, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. It has nothing to do with false modesty. You see, he started doing it because Cougar is once again tormenting him when he’s on the crapper. To protect himself, he closes the door before going, and when leaving, opens the door just far enough to slink out.

So you see, while his bathroom habits may put mine to shame, when you know the whole story, well, I don’t come out so bad, do I?

A red fog

2009-04-23T00:35:00.001-07:00

The fog rolled in last night as our heatwave broke. Today was in the 60s – a little windy, but otherwise perfect.

I was busy with my stuff about an hour ago, around 11:38 p.m., when I got up to stretch and noticed that it was foggy outside. And red. I mean seriously red. Creepily red. It was 11:30 pm mind you, what could be causing it?

I took out my point and shoot and shot. No good. Dark image, not a hint of red, so I put the camera down and just looked for a while. Maybe some things, I thought, we’re better off experienced first hand. I was a bit peeved when my instant messenger binged, but I turned and went to the computer. I looked down and it was a co-worker/friend. We chatted for a while, which was nice, and then I told him that I needed to go, I needed to go out in the red fog.

As I put on my shoes I looked out the window. The red fog was gone. 11:48 p.m. Just like that, the evening changed hue on me and the odd anomaly was over.

I’ve never seen an evening like this before, at least, not one that I remember. I’d like to think it’s portentous, but in a good way, and that tomorrow will bring a new perspective on things.

Maybe.

If it weren’t for cats…

2009-04-21T13:20:00.001-07:00

…we’d all be insane. Well, I would be. Heh.

Cougar’s eye

2009-04-20T23:51:00.001-07:00

It’s almost midnight here, and I just called Cougar and he came to me and jumped in my lap. Cougar is a head butter. He loves to butt heads with me, and as he positioned himself, I got a good look into his eyes. Both of them. And I couldn’t tell which one had been full of blood just a few days ago.

That’s right, it’s healed now and both eyes are beautifully symmetrical! I still need to talk to the doctor, as he saw signs of possible kidney disease or high blood pressure, but for now, his eyes are like two sparkly gems.

I don’t know what love is…

2009-04-20T23:44:00.001-07:00

…but I know what it’s not. It’s not love unless it’s returned. When it is, it becomes something else, something solid that you can hold on to.

I tried to tell this to a co-worker in so many words. But his girlfriend broke up with him about a month ago. She’s seeing someone else. He’s hurting.

Telling him he’ll get over it is like telling a recent amputee that they didn’t really need that other leg, they’ll adjust. Wasted breath.

But still, I try. He’s 21, going through it for the first time I believe, and he’s hurting. For him, love is still what they depict in movies, by actors on their third and fourth marriages.

I hate to see people hurt. But this is not love he’s feeling, not really, more infatuation. In the end, I guess it feels the same.

Hope he finds another infatuation soon.

Was I just insulted?

2009-04-20T14:11:00.001-07:00

I’m in Bob’s Broiler, a little diner I like, and I’m eating an open faced turkey sandwich. Hmm…the waiter just sat it down before me and said, in a loud voice, “Turkey!”

Hmm.

If I were less groovy and more honest, I’d be offended.

Heh.

Update: The Coug

2009-04-14T21:38:00.001-07:00

Earlier this evening I got a call from the vet. Cougar’s blood test results are partially in. The good news: No kitty AIDS or FIP. Man, that was such a relief, you don’t know. The doc is waiting for more results, but says that he may see some slight kidney problems or possibly high blood pressure. He said that a blood vessel may have broken and caused the bloody eye.

That said, today Cougar’s eye, while still bloody, wasn’t quite as bloody as it was yesterday. Hopefully it will heal quickly and we’ll find out that he may not need any major care/meds/lifestyle changes.

I’m cautiously happy. Tomorrow, more. Thanks to all the kind words about my little terror’s health.

Joy of High Rez

2009-04-14T21:23:00.001-07:00

My tablet PC has a 12.1-inch display with an amazing 1400 x 1050 resolution. Now, for whatever reason, they no longer make tablets with this resolution, so next time out, I’ll have to settle for less.

I dread it. I really have become spoiled by all the stuff I can cram onto my small display and the very crisp graphics. In fact, I just finished an editing stint so here’s what my display looked like. Okay, don’t read the text because it’s a nanonovel I’m currently editing. I’m loving it, but man, is it a lot of work. If you’ve ever edited a nanonovel, you know what I mean. Heh.

Oh yeah, that’s Rockapella playing in the background.

$500 later…

2009-04-13T23:13:00.001-07:00

The vet gave Cougar a blood test. Still waiting for the results. Cougar got to sleep in my bed last night – Fenix had to sleep in the living room. Cougar LOVED it. Of course, he was restless for the first couple of hours, having spent much of the day in a carrier, and he was loopy from the anesthesia, so he couldn’t walk more than a couple steps without losing his equilibrium and stumbling to the side. Didn’t stop him though. He was having too much fun. All I had to do was look at him or say “good boy” and he would come to me, jump up on the bed, miss, and fall to the floor. He’s a drive-by lover – gives me a head butt and then he’s off again…only to return, minutes later, with another affectionate head-butt. When he’s not being a holy terror, he’s a love bug.

So even though I have no news yet, he’s feeling pretty good right now and doesn’t even seem to notice one of his eyes is full of blood. I’d imagine it would be like looking through a really dark sunglass lens – one lens – but there’s no evidence of discomfort or vision problems at this time, so I have my fingers crossed. The doc said it could be caused by a number of things, but didn’t make any predictions, just mentioned a couple of the worst-case scenarios. I know I recently blogged that this wasn’t going to be my year, but damn, I didn’t expect anything like this.

Damn.

Waiting…

2009-04-12T14:26:00.001-07:00

This morning my little buddy, Cougar, had a large red spot on his eye. It was dark, bloody red, and I thought I’d better watch it. I assumed he and his brother had tussled and he’d gotten scratched, but this didn’t look like a normal scratch. He was pretty lethargic, too, and didn’t want to eat this morning. I gave him a handful of treats and he ate those, but with much less gusto than normal.

I then returned my sister’s call. She had gone to the cemetery to see my parents…I was planning to go today. My stupid cell phone died mid call, rebooted itself twice, and then I was finally able to complete the call. So I also need to go to T-Mobile today, to get it replaced. After getting off the phone, I decided to take Cougar with me to the cemeteryu, as I thought the air and sun would be good for him and I could watch his eye. As I went to pick him up, I noticed that his eye was now COMPLETELY red with dark blood.

So now I’m here, at Pets Unlimited, waiting for the vet to return with news…

Man, I hope the little guy is okay.

Oh, and my broken cell phone is completely dead now…

$38.95 for a danish

2009-04-08T23:53:00.001-07:00

Okay, this morning I stopped at The Better Bagel on Geary Street to get a blueberry danish. I was lucky because there was a parking spot right in front. I didn’t have any change for the meter though, so I just went in to see if they had the danish. Here’s the rub – they only make ONE blueberry danish per day, so it’s a crap shoot. I kid you not – are we talking OUTRAGEOUS or what? Anyway, the clerk knows me now, and when she saw me she went for it. I saw it first this time, and I stupidly yelled out, “Blueberry, Blueberry!”, and I was like salivating (oh yeah, they’re that good) and pointing like Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

So as she was warming the danish and I was pouring myself a cup of Hazlenut Cream coffee, a meter maid (is that sexist?) pulled up behind my car. When I saw her, I hurried out, hoping it wasn’t too late. Of course it was too late. She was working on the ticket and explained that she couldn’t stop it. I mumbled excuses about no change and the joy of blueberry danishes and I don’t know what else to which she replied, in that unemotional meter maid drone, that I should keep some change in my glove compartment. Sigh. Resigned, I told her that I understood as she handed me the ticket.

As she headed back to her meter maid mobile, she says over her shoulder, “you’re a kind man.”

Hmm. I got into my car, pulled out of the lot, and then reached for the danish as I merged with traffic. I bit into the warm blueberry goo and all was right in the world again.

UPDATE: The picture was provided by my buddy Thomas! Love it!

Anal Endings

2009-04-04T11:13:00.001-07:00

I'm too anal when I edit. I realize this now, and you know, it's a pretty big self-revelation.

I'm in a Starbucks, across from work, editing. I was working on a scene that was broken up by a huge expository bit that I just deleted.

And I realized, right then, that I tend to edit each scene in a vacuum. When I'm there, editing, I drop into the moment and forget about the whole.

And that's not good.

Even when I'm doing a developmental type edit, I drop out of the whole and into the hole, and then attempt to edit my way up and out.

Maybe realization will set me free.

Post meeting camp out

2009-04-02T22:15:00.001-07:00

I’m in an all-night donut shop on Clement street. Writing. You see, I just left our regularly scheduled writer’s meeting where we we discussed the final section of a very entertaining witchcraft novel, and like all such meetings, it left me needing to write.

So I ended up here.

There’s a homeless woman a couple seats away from me, and an odor I cannot identify and don’t want to. It’s not fried dough.

The homeless woman just turned to me and said: “That’s a Apple computer?” Uh, no. It’s a Thinkpad. If you’ve ever seen a Thinkpad, or an Apple computer for that matter, you’ll understand the quirkiness of the question.

So I’m writing…or editing, rather, or a little of both. It’s cold in here tonight, as the place is small and the homeless woman keeps going in and out, letting the outside in. So I won’t stay much longer. Just long enough to scratch this particular itch.

Hunkering down…

2009-04-02T13:50:00.001-07:00

Okay, this morning I went over the bills and canceled everything that wasn’t essential. That included my subscription to Safari Books, basic cable tv, Netflix, etc. It will save me a few dollars and, hopefully help me weather the economic downturn. The job market for what I do is moribund, to put it delicately, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting back into the biz any time soon, and when I do, it will likely be at a much lower rate. I’ll continue to look, but it’s pretty depressing out there right now.

I’ve kept my Zune account, as I’ve grown pretty dependent on it, and since I just paid for the next three months, and I have a free pass for another three months, it’s pretty much paid up through September…we’ll reassess when that time comes.

Oh, and I have this ginormous credit for PG&E because I autopay a set amount which is above my highest month (it’s been set up for years), so I won’t need to pay that bill for another six months or so either (I said it was ginormous!).

But the hardest part is going to be cooking more at home and taking my lunch to work with me. I don’t know WHY that’s so difficult for me, but it is. It’s not so much that I hate cooking, I just, well, yeah, I guess I do hate it. Heh. Need to work on that, I guess.

You Paint Like a Freakin’ Elephant!

2009-03-31T23:41:00.001-07:00

Who knew?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He7Ge7Sogrk

Most amazing and humbling video of 2009 so far.

Performance Anxiety

2009-03-21T18:11:00.001-07:00

I like to be watched. Sometimes. Well no, watched isn’t really the right word. Maybe observed is better.

A couple hours ago I was observed by my district manager, his manager, and a co-worker. I was doing what I do every day, and well, I was able to totally tune them out and just do it. That said, I FREAK if I have to present in front of a small group…so I don’t really get it. I’m a TOTAL wreck as a public speaker, but when it comes to being judged, 1-on-1, or even 4-on-1, well, it’s no problem for me. I don’t understand it. I really don’t.

Maybe I’m just too dumb to suffer performance anxiety. Heh.

BingeBlogging

2009-03-18T08:38:00.001-07:00

My name is Clifford Brooks and I’m a binge blogger.

There, I’ve said it.

Who do you think you are?

2009-03-17T18:21:00.001-07:00

Whether you twit, Facebook, or blog, maybe it’s time to talk about usernames. Anonymity is great – some of my best friends are anonymous usernames. But there comes a time when you start experiencing diminishing returns. A few weeks back, I told you how a text message led to a meeting with someone I didn’t recognize, as their number wasn’t in my addy book. And more than once, I’ve replied to a twit not entirely sure I knew who I was replying to.

Hmm.

I have a fairly small social network. It always amazes me when I click on a Facebook “friend’s” profile and realize I’m just one of this person’s thirteen bazillion “friends”. Insanity, no? I remember when I first joined Facebook and I only had a couple friends. There was something both sad and pathetic about it, so as the days went on, and old and new friends found me, I gladly accepted their invites. You see, now I have all these many friends and my social calendar is bubbling over with appointments…so if you want some of my time, take a number, punk.

Or not.

Hmm.

I barely know half of these folks in my social network, or don’t know at all. Maybe more than half. And those I do know, well, it’s not like we “socialize”, either online or off, any more often now that we’re official “friends”. Oh sure, I now know what friend #27 had for breakfast, and the fact that on Tuesday at 9:37 p.m., friend number #12 was bored, but really. Really?

Of course, those who didn’t include a picture with their profile and chose a usename that sounds more like the truncated name of an endangered species , well, I’m not even sure who they are?

Most of my online personas are some iteration of my real name. Maybe that’s stupid on my part, leaving me open to overly selective employers and long lost friends who are better off that way, but mostly, it just feels right.

Hmm.

In a nutshell, maybe it’s time to select one very descriptive screen name, like HorrorFictionWriter3DFanBoy, that someone else isn’t likely to have taken, legally change your name to it, and then use it for all your dealings both online and off. Maybe then, all these modes of communication will coalesce into this big gooey glob of feel-goodness, and the friends you have online will become real friends indeed. Or, make things easier for me.

Violated by the Royal Family! And I Didn’t Like It!

2009-03-17T11:45:00.001-07:00

I’ve been having trouble with my firewall on my tablet…it’s been failing to start and well, I’ve put off fixing it. It’s only been a couple weeks, but yesterday I paid for being so lax.

I was working in one of my favorite cafes on California Street (Cafe Bazaar), and all of a sudden I heard a little buzz and a box opened telling me that there was another computer nearby and I could now transfer files if I wanted to. I looked up and around, and wasn’t sure who I was connected with. This was NOT a wifi connection but an IR connection. My tablet, a Lenovo Thinkpad, has an IR port. Not sure they’re all that necessary these days, but they’re still around. Put two laptops with IR ports side by side and well, they begin to chatter with each other. I’ve seen it before, used it even, so I just ignored it and went about my business.

Until I noticed, in my Documents folder, a folder I didn’t remember. It was called “Family.Show”. I opened it, and low and behold there was photos of the royal family and Word docs on each member. I was confused. Where in the hell did this come from? Could the person with the IR connection have sent them to me? Don’t I have to say “yes” to a transmission? Was it a virus? The royal family virus?

View Full Album

Okay, it doesn’t look like a virus, but earlier today, I fixed the firewall problem. I’m still a bit confused, because when I’ve used IR in the past I distinctly remember having to acknowledge and approve any file transfers. Really, freaky strange. But yeah, the firewall is back up and it’s going to stay that way.

Horraction Flicks

2009-03-17T00:28:00.001-07:00

Okay, I just streamed the recent remake of “Dawn of the Dead”. The film has it’s moments (the pre-credits scene is phenomenal), but never really becomes scary. In fact, by the last act, it devolves into an action flick and though characters die, there’s not a lot of drama or surprise surrounding any of the deaths. Unfortunately, this type of flick has become pretty prevalent, so I’ve coined a new name for this type of film: horraction.

A horraction film, like those in the Resident Evil franchise, purport to be horror, but are rarely scary and involve a lot of gunplay and other action film tropes. These are NOT horror films, so feel free to use this new term…maybe if enough people use it, it will one day be Websterized. Heh.

Usage: Alex stood up in his seat and cheered when the hero machine-gunned down a row of zombies in the latest horraction film.

2009-03-15T23:26:00.001-07:00

The last shrimp in my EcoPod died. I’ve had the little nippers for like 11 years which, if it isn’t a record, should be. Who would have thought that they could live so long. In the wild, I believe their expected lifespan is like 13.7 seconds.

Note: Illustration is fanciful and not intended to accurately depict EcoPod residents, brine shrimp, or any organism whose sexual identity is tied entirely to whether or not it's wearing a bow in its head cilia.

Bronze Badge of Recognition

2009-03-15T21:56:00.001-07:00

What the hell. Just earned my second listener Bronze Badge from the Zune store. The first was for Ani DiFranco, the second, Sufjan Stevens.

So, what is a Bronze Badge? Can’t say that I really know, except it’s linked to how many times you’ve listened to a particular artist or CD. So yeah, I’ve been spinning Ani and Sufjan pretty hard, so maybe I do deserve some kind of badge. Or maybe a scarlet letter?

What the hell.

Selfish

2009-03-15T20:22:00.001-07:00

If you find someone who isn’t selfish, in a friend or a lover, hang on to them as tight as you can.

Religious fervor

2009-03-15T10:15:00.001-07:00

We are quickly becoming a nation of zealots. Or have we already become one? It seems everywhere I turn, people approach life/things/philosophies as if there is only one right answer and those who disagree are often dismissed contemptuously. No, I’m not just talking politics and religion…that’s a given, but even the most banal aspects of life have become victims of mindless zealotry.

What scares me most is that people, Americans at least, for whatever reason, seem to thrive on this. Take gaming for instance. A while back I was doing some research on the Xbox 360 and visited some gaming sites…you would be amazed at how much energy the “kids” who post on these sites spend insulting each other for choosing a different gaming platform than the one they chose. It’s phenomenal, actually. It’s like the partisanship of our political system has leached into the soil, poisoned our water system, and infected the way we see life. We don’t seem to know how to talk to each other anymore – instead, we make choices and defend these choices blindly by denigrating the choices and differing opinions of others.

There are those of us who appear immune to this, for sure, just as there are those people who manage to escape the flu or regularly have unsafe sex and manage to avoid getting an STD. But those are the exceptions and not the rule, and I fear, if they keep up the risky behavior, in time, they’ll fall victim too. Seriously, I fear for our future. We can’t continue, taking sides on everything we do without suffering some far reaching consequences. I don’t think it bodes well, on any level, for the continuance of the species.

Ah, I know I’m ranting, but I think if we can’t even respect each other’s choice of game system for instance, how can we expect to deal with the bigger stuff? And right now, more than ever, we need to come together. Is it too late?

He reads!!!

2009-03-15T09:50:00.001-07:00

Last night was great – I got to hang out with friends, old and new, at Writers with Drinks. We were there to support one of our own, as he did his very first reading for his new novel, Breathers.

The night was cool an so were all of the readers – it was one of the better Writers with Drinks – there wasn’t a dud in the group.

There were 11 of us in our party, and after the show, we headed out and walked through The Mission, seeking out a place to eat. Amazingly, despite the depression we’re in, the restaurants in The Mission were really busy. We finally ended up at Frjtas, a French Fry/Crepes/Sandwich place. The place was noisy, but we commandeered the tables at the back of the restaurant and had our own little party. What a pleasant evening!

Oh yeah, before I forget, Scott did a great job reading and the crowd was totally appreciative. I’m sure he sold a few books and garnered a few new readers from it!

Enough said

2009-03-14T12:24:00.001-07:00

Why Ani Matters #789

2009-03-10T13:23:00.001-07:00

From her new song, “November 4, 2008”:

Oh President Obama,

It's an honor just to say it,

I used to hide my passport,

Now I want to display it,

Thank you for our democracy,

Through you is resurrected,

Yes thank your for our basic decency,

In you is reflected,

Oh thank you America,

For being more than I expected.

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

2009-03-10T13:05:00.001-07:00

Ever get one of those calls from a telemarketer, and the person is talking a mile a minute and you wonder if they take oxygen before each call so they don’t have to breath until they’ve completed their spiel.

I do.

And I just got off the phone with one. I wouldn’t bother to mention it, except, the caller was speaking Spanish. I listened, attentively, parsing a word here and there but not enough to have a clue as to what was being sold (my Spanish knowledge is akin to that of a dyslexic 2-year-old). Finally, I said, “I don’t speak Spanish”, and the phone kind of went dead and I was able to hang up. Heh.

To donut or not two donut

2009-03-03T16:46:00.001-08:00

I’m heading for Scott’s cocktail party shortly…but before I go, I stopped off at the donut shot for a cup of hazelnut coffee and a donut. As usual, the coffee is great and so are the donuts (okay, I got two – so sue me!).

The crowd is as noisy and boisterous as ever. The feel of community is cemented as a guy at my table strikes up a conversation with a guy at another table…then gets up and walks over to them to continue the discussion.

Everyone is Asian, so I can’t understand what’s being said. That’s no problem though, as the camaraderie is thick in here and the good will/feelings is palpable. Community. You’ve got to love it.

Okay, a guy at my table just asked about my computer, my Aircard, the fact that I’m using a computer made in China (Lenovo)…and finally, asked if I could run a geography program his buddy have, to prove it’s in high def. I would have, but I don’t have a CD drive on this tablet! Hah! The funny thing is, this is the first time, maybe ever, when not having a CD drive with me was an issue. A minor issue, mind you, but an issue. The decision to go without a CD on tablets (and the Mac Air for that matter) really is a non-issue. CD are soon to be a thing of the past.

Okay, time to get down to some work before I head out…

Ani’s New Song!!!

2009-03-03T16:12:00.001-08:00

Being in the audience when she sang this would have been freaking amazing…

I feel dirty

2009-03-02T21:13:00.001-08:00

I’m torrenting my first film/item. Believe it or not, I’ve never used the torrents before. Not quite sure what I’m doing , but it seems to be working. Me so bad.

Update: Duh! I should have noted my first torrent is the film, House of Dark Shadows.

Write update…

2009-03-02T13:04:00.001-08:00

I’m in a cafe with my friend Danny right now, and about half an hour ago, Rennie walked in. Rennie is the dude who runs Shut Up and Write, which reminded me…

Update: Got a lot done at Shut Up and Write…I will return one day.

Shut up and write!

2009-02-24T19:28:00.001-08:00

Okay, I’m sitting in Crossroads Cafe on Delancey Street. In about 30 minute, a weekly event called “Shut Up and Write” begins. The concept: a group of writers meet once a week to, well, write. That’s it. Yeah, there’s a break in the middle to check in, but the idea is to hunker down and just create.

This is my first meeting and I’m working on my novel edit…more later…

The zombies are coming!!!

2009-02-19T23:40:00.001-08:00

Tonight was writer’s meeting, and one of our founding members, Scott Browne, had more good news.

First, on March 3, his novel, Breathers, is going to be released. It was the first novel workshopped in the current iteration of our writer’s group. Last year, he found an agent for it, who sold it to a division of Random House in less than 2 weeks, and today he announced that Fox Searchlight is buying the film rights!

Oh yeah, and he’s decided to quit his day job as of next Friday.

And lest I forget, Breathers kicks ass. Serious ass. But don’t take it from me, both Publisher’s Weekly and Kirkus Review gave it rave reviews.

Dreams really do come true.

Revenge of the Donut

2009-02-18T16:26:00.001-08:00

I walked into Peet’s a few minutes ago. I needed coffee. I needed a pastry. I needed a place to set up my computer and get a little work done while I sipped.

I also needed to do this cheaply.

It was the tiny macaroons, at $1.90 each, that made me decide that this was just too expensive a dalliance. A block away is a fairly large donut shop, one of the few remaining ones in the neighborhood, so that’s where I went.

So I walked in. Bought 2 donuts that just came out of the oven and were/are still warm. Bought a cup of hazelnut coffee I poured myself from the pot on the warmer.

$3.09

The donuts are divine decadence. The coffee warm and nutty and just right. Of course, there’s no free wifi here, and no outlets for customers, but easy listening rock and roll is playing softly on the sound system and my laptop is charged, and right now, so am I.

$3.09

The crowd in here is different. Paint splattered jeans, reading glasses, and even though there are quite a few others in here, I’m the only one that’s using a laptop.

$3.09

Yeah, man, yeah.

Update: Using your inside voice isn't a requirement here. People are jabbering loudly, not caring who hears their business. Definite community gathering place feel here. I like.

Marquis D’Massage

2009-02-16T23:02:00.001-08:00

I’ve got TMJ, which, I guess I’ll have until I die. Not much I can do about it except reduce the stress in my life in order to manage it. I’m doing okay these days as I know the early warning signs.

Anyway, Walgreen’s was having a sale on one of those shiatsu massage chair inserts -- $39.99! Pretty amazing, so I bought one, thinking I can massage away some of the tension.

Does it work? Talk about REAL pain. This thing grabs and squeezes and just won’t let up. We’re talking tough love here, for real.

Now, for $39.99 you’re probably thinking that I should have known the damn thing would be more a cleverly-disguised implement of torture. Okay, fair enough, but it’s actually both. After enduring the pain (15 minute session), I feel better. Looser. Maybe even a wee bit invigorated. I know what you’re thinking now, that it’s all in my head and that this is an example of the “it feels good when I stop” syndrome, and yeah, in part it does, but I really do believe that it’s making a difference. Really.

Best $39.95 I’ve ever spent. Heh.

I Dream in 3-D

2009-02-16T17:43:00.001-08:00

I’m in the midst of reading an article in PC Magazine on the upcoming format wars for 3-D in the home – tvs, projectors, cameras, etc. I’m like so excited I’m lactating. Or something like that.

Anyway, from the article, I pulled this juicy paragraph:

Three-dimensional anything has always looked cheesy, but that wasn't the case when I recently saw the very gory My Bloody Valentine 3D, which was shot using RealD technology and screened using a single high-res digital projector. There were pickaxes coming at you, blood splattering on your 3D glasses—I was in horror heaven! The 3D glasses handed out for the film were made of a durable plastic with polarized lenses. The polarized lenses allow each eye to see its own picture, even if you tilt your head; older 3D film methods used two projectors, and the anaglyphic (red/blue) glasses caused you to see double imaging if your head was tilted to the side.

You see, I told you you should see this baby! Go see it now!

We are all insane

2009-02-16T00:12:00.001-08:00

That’s what I was thinking, tonight, driving through the pouring rain on highway 101. Having grown up in the Midwest, I’m pretty comfortable with driving in inclement weather, even though I know that most native Californian’s aren’t.

It doesn’t matter how good I think I am, it’s the other guy that I should worry about. And that’s why, hurling down the slippery road at 55+ mph, well, is insane. Driving on the freeway at all is probably proof of our insanity. We know what could happen to us, we can imagine the pain, and in the end, we know that it’s out of our control, really, as we can’t read the other guy’s intent or control his actions.

And that, I fear, is proof that we are indeed insane.

I’ve been Zuned!

2009-02-10T22:28:00.001-08:00

Okay, right now I’m listening to a meditation class. From Australia. On my computer.

You see, a few minutes ago I ran Windows Media Center on my computer. My intent was to set it up so that it would add my Zune library to my Media Center. So I opened the program, and strangely, it was already done. There were all my Zune songs (predominantly subscription songs), ready for me to enjoy. Then I noticed something strange.

There were songs there, at least 40, that I’d never heard of before. So I began deleting them. Aside from a handful of Xmas tunes (I HATE Xmas music), I began to notice that the songs looked…interesting. Again, I’d never heard of any of the musicians, but nearly all of them were odd and seemingly right up my ally. They were single tunes predominantly, so this represented about 35 different CDs. I swear, I’ve never seen them before or heard of the artists even, but there they were…and they were interesting.

I’m anal, and since I didn’t download them, I began deleting them…then I stopped at a trance CD and played the single, and well, it was pretty damn good. Then I found what I’m listening to now, and well, I can’t delete it yet either. And then I kept another…

Okay, this is really freaking me out. Really. I figured at first that it is some kind of “people who liked CD X also liked…”, but it’s just so odd…it’s like Zune is totally talking to me, and directing me, and it’s freaking me out.

Okay, back to meditation class…

Noble Beast

2009-02-06T03:06:00.001-08:00

Melodic

Quirky

Literate

Alternative

Listening to the new CD from Andrew Bird. More violin. More whistling. More lyrical play throughs. More goodness. Joy.

The Pamphleteer by The Weakerthans

2009-02-03T14:09:00.001-08:00

A brilliant song is rushing through my head (and the computer speakers)…

The Pamphleteer

I'm standing on this corner.
Can't get their attention.
Facing rush hour faces turned around.
I clutch my stack of paper, press one to a chest,
then watch it swoop and stutter to the ground.
I'm weary with right angles, abbreviated daylight,
and waiting for a winter to be done.
Why do I still see you in every mirrored window,
in all that I could never overcome?
I don't know what I should do with my hands when I talk to you.
You don't know where you should look, so you look at my hands.
How movements rise and then dissolve, melted by our shallow breath.
How causes dance away from me.
I am your pamphleteer.
I walk this room in time to the beat of the Gestetner,
contemplate my next communique.
The rhetoric and treason of saying that I'll miss you.
Of saying "Hey, well maybe you should stay."
Sing "Oh what force on earth could be weaker than the feeble strength of one"
like me remembering the way it could have been.
So help me with this barricade.
No surrender. No defeat.
A spectre's haunting Albert Street.
I am your pamphleteer.

Cute

2009-01-27T15:25:00.001-08:00

View Full Album

Obama et my kitty psychosis

2009-01-22T21:11:00.001-08:00

Okay, it’s too early to say for sure, but damn, it’s been over 48 hours now.

You see, on Tuesday, Obama was inaugurated. Remember? Yeah, it was a pretty special day for democrats and progressives and good people all. But something even MORE spectacular and singular and just all-out miraculous happened.

Cougar and Fenix signed a peace treaty. Not only that, I caught them grooming each other…something they haven’t really done in months. And then, in the wee hours, they began chasing each other through the apartment. Okay, that’s not really cool at three o’clock in the morning because I’ve got hardwood floors and neighbors beneath me, but Tuesday (Wednesday, actually), I just couldn’t stop them. It has been a couple year since they’ve done that.

And tonight, they’re still drinking mello yellow and regarding each other with something akin to respectful tolerance, and right before I began this post, I caught them grooming each other again. It didn’t last long…about 10 seconds…before it devolved into neck biting alpha cat behavior, but even that was fleeting and didn’t turn into the usual testosterone-laced faceoff and guttural moaning exchange that it usually does. It was just like the old days.

48 hours may not be long enough to proclaim a tide change at my place, but man, it’s hasn’t been this good in two years, so I’m thinking that this is a sign that the Obama administration is about to cure what ills us.

And maybe, just maybe, my two boys have finally turned the corner on their irrational and unfounded destestation of each other.

It feels like the first day of the rest of my life here….thank you, President Obama!

Let me in!

2009-01-20T12:12:00.001-08:00

Last night, rather impulsively, I went to see “Let the Right One In”, a foreign vampire flick about a young, slightly odd boy and the girl he falls for, who turns out to be a vampire. This flick was recommended to me by a friend, and I’d heard murmurs about it, so I was primed for an interesting and different take on the vampire theme.

It is both those things, though many of the tropes are on display (i.e., inability to live in sunlight, need to be asked in, etc.). The characters are all quirky, including our hero, so the events take place at an emotional distance that dampens the impact a bit, but still manages to maintain interest. While there are a couple of fairly gruesome scenes, this is a slow-paced story, often more interested in telling a story about two kids who need each other, the loss of innocence, etc., than creeping you out.

Definitely worth a look.

Grade: B

Windows 7 Tablet PC

2009-01-19T16:31:00.001-08:00

I'm writing this post on my tablet, running the recently released beta of Windows 7. I know, it's a beta and I shouldn't be running it on my main machine, but all I'd heard was good stuff about it so I had to give it a spin. I set up a dual boot situation and allotted Windows 7 twenty GB of space.

It's running really well so far. Here are A few quick observations.

Speed appears about the same as Vista, though it feels a little faster going in and out of sleep
Damn pretty. I like the look of Vista, but this feels more refined and desktop themes are a nice touch
Still need to install Lenovo-specific drivers, but nearly everything is working well
Install took about 35 minutes and was painless and simple
Another bump in handwriting recognition. New TIP is sweet; goes transparent when not in use so you can see doc beneath and recognition happens inline in near real time

Yeah, really digging it. Everything is so smooth. Probably too soon to go Windows 7 full time, but close. I don't want to switch back. Evolution of the TIP will make tablet users smile.

Finally, it feels so close to done that I'm sure Microsoft plans to release it early (i.e. 3rd qtr 2009).

I Heart 3-D

2009-01-18T01:58:00.001-08:00

I just got back from seeing My Bloody Valentine 3D. How was it? Funny you should ask. Hmm. This one is tricky. You see, I LOVE a good 3D flick, I really really do. And maybe, just maybe, that love clouds reality a bit, making my opinion suspect to those who claim good taste. What I can tell you, with the authority vested in me by those who should know better, is that this is one BLOODY Bloody Valentine. And that the acting is deservedly bad, the dialog silly and bland, the acting wooden and gleefully over the top, the direction pretty damn good, the murders sinfully gross, the jutting-into-your-personal-space scenes spare yet effective.

And the 3D? Sublime. Not since Friday the 13th Part 3D has as much care been put into the exploitive nature of 3D. This is one for the history books, my friends. While, for the most part, the flick is suspense and nuance free, it does manage to surprise you a bit (well, at least me) with the ending.

You should go see this one. Really.

Grade: B+

A visit from a friend

2009-01-14T17:20:00.001-08:00

Last Thursday a friend arrived. We’d planned the visit for quite a while, and we arranged it so that he would be able to attend a Writers with Drinks event during his stay. So he arrived and I tried hard to play it by ear and not bombard him with things to do, to just let the vacation ebb and flow…

And I’ll be damned if that’s not what happened.

Oh yeah, I had my fears. I thought that I would worry about not making his visit special…not showing him every nook and cranny of my place. Yeah, we went to The Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum and walked to the Ferry Building and did assorted other “things”, but there was this feeling that if we lagged too long over coffee or stayed up too late and slept the morning away, it didn’t really matter.

Four pressure-free days. That’s what I needed, bad. That’s what he needed, bad. And that’s what we got.

Now, slipping back into things billed as normal is a bit hard, but this vacation prepared me for it better than most.

Pearl Two...

2009-01-06T21:10:00.001-08:00

I'm at Royal Ground cafe on Geary, drinking a cup of African Nectar (Mighty Leaf tea) and eating a chocolate-dipped shortbread cookie. Did I just hear somebody say It doesn't get any better than that? Well, you're damn close. Heh.

Anyway, at the table beside my couch is a group of chatty knitters: knit one, chat twenty seven, or something like that.

I haven't been here in a while. When I was a regular, I ran into them a lot.

There are eight of them tonight; one guy and seven women. They're an amiable lot, and I would ask to join their collective if I found wasting time knitting, well, a valuable use of wasted time.

I can think of half a dozen better ways to waste my time, and that's just off the top of my head. Heh.

Note: I wrote this message before the one below, but just realized it didn't post. This post actually led to the one below, so...

The big sink

2009-01-06T21:07:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine is arriving Thursday evening. His plane arrives late, so I'll pick him up after work. He will be visiting until Tuesday. We plan to just hang out and be for a few days as both of us need some serious down time. I'm approaching his visit with equal parts anticipation and anxiety.

Hanging and chatting and being is what I love best, what I get too little of, what refuels the jet pack for another day. This friend and I know how to shoot the shite like nobody's business. That's the anticipation part.

But it gets harder and harder to just be all the time, and that makes me anxious. I've even created a list of bars and museums and cafes and stuff to do if we fail. If we just have to be some place at some time before the clock strikes done. You know what I mean?

I fear the rat race is all there is.

Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois

2009-01-05T22:55:00.001-08:00

Yesterday a good friend suggested I check out Sufjan Stevens. So I did. On Zune. I’m totally loving me some subscription music and pray it doesn’t go the way of the dodo. This is what DRM was intended for.

Back to Sufjan. I’m listening to his CD called “Illinoise” right now. It looks like this CD, when released, was heralded as the real deal by the indie press. Anyway, it’s is. The title of this post is the title of the first tune on the CD. If I were better at defining musical tropes, I’d try to describe Sufjan’s schtick. But alas, I can’t. My friend told me he was similar to Andrew Bird. And in a way, he is, but at the same time, very different. I’d never mistake a Sufjan for a Bird. Not really. This is getting tricky.

Seek this one out if you’re looking for something interesting, different, melodic, and just plain engaging. The tune I’m listening to right now, as I write this, is called: “Come on! Feel the Illinoise! Part 1: The World’s Columbian Exposition. Part 2: Carl Sandburg Visits Me in a Dream”. Yes, that’s the name of a single song. Don’t be put off…it’s a great tune. Okay, it just ended and the next song is a somber lullaby called "John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”

He has another state-based CD called “Michigan”, and it appears he’s planning to create a CD for each of the 50 states. Heh. Fat chance that. But it will be fun watching him try.

Where was your consciousness…

2009-01-05T20:56:00.001-08:00

…and where are the letters that you wrote to yourself,

but could not address?

Okay, that line is from the one and only Ani. I’m listening to and watching her Babeville concert while cleaning house…and man, every two seconds she snags me with another fantastic line, a melody, a vocal gymnastic, or a pithy comment, like this one about having her baby:

“I’ve done drugs my entire life and I decide to stop now?”

Okay, back to work. If you haven’t bought/viewed/listened to this DVD, well, I pity you (:

Late night caffeinated mystery theater: the conclusion

2008-12-31T09:04:00.001-08:00

So like most mysteries, this one had a simple yet pleasant outcome. As the 49 bus neared my final destination, I texted: "I'll be there in less than 10 minutes." My mystery texter immediately replied. "I'm here. c u."

c u.

[warning: tense shift ahead]

So I get off the bus on 24th Street and walk the short block to Muddys. The cafe is brightly lit, intentionally grungy, and filled with an assortment of characters. As I head for the counter, a guy catches my eye. He is pale, with very long, dark black hair that is partially dreaded. His beard is also long, bisected, and a couple beads are strung there. But it is his face--gaunt, white, and covered with black, tribal-looking tattoos--that snags my eye. He is a beautiful unfortunate.

So, trying not to stare, I attempt to return my gaze to the counter when a guy at the next table waves.

What is he doing here, I wonder, as I wave back and turn to order.

Doh! I turn back, wave lamely again, and shout out, "Can I get you anything?"

The mystery texter: a friend from my own neighborhood. I haven't run into him in a while because he'd moved to The Sunset, the neighborhood across the park from mine, so our paths no longer cross.

Mystery solved, soy latte in hand, I proceeded to his table and enjoyed the evening.

Sometimes, being lame isn't necessarily a bad thing.

A paler shade of white

2008-12-30T23:54:00.001-08:00

I’ve had more than my share of white Christmases. They’re nice, if you can stay inside, by the fire, as the white stuff wafts gently down and covers the houses and the trees. After a snow, xmas lights, glowing through a blanket of white can be pretty.

So tonight, on my way back from The Mission, I spotted a massive tree in the park that had been draped with strings of light…glowing through the low laying fog.

If I’d had a camera, I would have taken a picture to share with you.

Late Night Eats…

2008-12-30T23:47:00.001-08:00

Okay, I’m now in a 24-hour diner in my neighborhood. The time is 11:42 pm. You know, it’s funny…I haven’t been here in AGES and I used to be a regular. Feels familiar and new all over again as they’ve replaced a number of the televisions since I was last here. You see, their gimmick is that they also rent DVDs and you get to eat while watching a movie on one of the screens strategically located throughout the place.

The food is passable…nothing to write home about. It’s open, so there’s always a small crowd here. Tonight, maybe like 15 people have braved the fog.

Anyway, I’m having a cheeseburger, fries, and a shake. Yeah, I know, it’s a little late to be eating so much, but I’ve only had one meal today and I realized I wasn’t going to get to sleep tonight on an empty stomach.

So I’m here. And the food is coming. And well, it’s time to do a little work before I call it a night.

UPDATE 4: Waiting on the 49

2008-12-30T20:51:00.001-08:00

Okay, the 5 bus dropped me off and now I’m sitting on a cold concrete abutment outside the Herbst Theater and across the street from Civic Center, waiting for the 49 bus. Says it will be here in 15 minutes which kinda sucks because it means I’ll arrive at Muddys late. I wanted to arrive first, get my drink, and set up my laptop…then I could gaze into it obliviously and wait for my mysterious texter to find me. Heh. Yeah, I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me!

My drink with Andre…or Andrea?

2008-12-30T20:40:00.001-08:00

Okay, I’m sitting at the bus stop waiting for the number 5 bus. It’s kind of cold, but at least I’ve got a jacket on. It’s 8:21 pm and the plan is to potentially meet a friend or acquaintance at a cafe for coffee and a chat.

Does that sound fuzzy?

It is. Let me explain. You see, a couple days ago I got a text message from this person asking about getting together for a drink. Now when the text message came through, I kinda sorta recognized the number but it’s not in my address book. It should be. I’m sure of it. So this texter didn’t sign the message, so me being me, I didn’t ask. I should know, right? So I figured the messenger would text something that would clue me in and I’d be home free.

The texter didn’t.

So I had a pretty good idea of who it is, but when I suggested we meet at “Muddys”, she asked where it was. Hmm. We’ve met there before, me and this texter friend of mine, so maybe it’s not her?

Damn.

Okay, the bus should be here in about a minute…so I’ve got to sign off.

Yeah, I’m a loser!

UPDATE: Right as the bus arrived, my mysterious texter texted me asking where I was and offered to pick me up! Heh! I graciously declined.

UPDATE 2: Hey, it just dawned on me. What if it’s a “wrong texter”? It’s happened before. More than once. What if we both show up at Muddys and, not knowing the other, both get stood up? Oh geez, this is getting more and more silly as it goes along…

UPDATE 3: Posting this on the bus, using my aircard because it needs to get posted now. Heh.

Happiness is a purring cat…

2008-12-28T22:08:00.001-08:00

Cougar the Returner is head butting me and purring up a storm…what a great sound.

The Santa Lie and other traumas of childhood

2008-12-26T02:15:00.001-08:00

I had a nice Christmas. I really did. But just a couple moments ago, I texted a friend whose nephew, who is now 8, has begun questioning the veracity of the Santa Lie. It made me remember back when I was that age and through conversations with other kids, it all began to unravel.

When I found out there was no Santa, well, something changed. I didn’t know it at the time, and really had never thought about it, but up to that point, there were two people in the world that I trusted beyond trust. And they lied to me. It was the first time that had ever happened, and something, I think, intangible changed in our relationship. I didn’t love them any less, and I think I understood that they would never do anything that would hurt me, but they had lied to me.

As so the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny quickly became casualties and in a way, so had the world I’d lived in.

People lie.

I know that sounds like a harsh indictment, and in a way, it is. But for a kid who’d been given the world on a string and told to run with it, well, it was pretty stunning. Of course, at the time I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t understand my feelings, but they were there, beneath the surface, and my world changed before my eyes.

So I ask you, why do we abuse the trust of a child with fantasies and promises of a world that doesn’t exist? Are we, as adults, forever unsatisfied as we try to recreate that childhood lost world that we lived in for the first ten or twelve years of our lives?

Ahh, to go back there once again…

City View #189

2008-12-25T01:23:00.001-08:00

And yes, their cakes rock.