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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Anti-Mobility Man & Friends

I’m working in a café today, and the guy next to me is making me smile. He’s an African American gentleman, probably in his 50s…and well, he’s the poster child for anti-mobility. He’s using an old Dell laptop and talking on one of those old, ginormous cell phones with the extending black plastic antennas. His large laptop is in a docking station and he has a mouse connected. His “mouse pad” is a 12-inch round, half-inch thick carved wooden tchotzke (sp?). And the best part? He has an all-in-one printer/scanner/FAX set up. If I were any more of a dick, I’d take a photograph of him, but even I have my limits.

I chatted with him while he packed up (a lengthy process as you might imagine), and my assumption that he was kind was right on. But his gray eyes are watery and shifty, they don’t seem to be focusing on the here and now as he talks, making me suspect that he’s traveled a long way and left little bits of himself behind at each of his stops.

So many things to bring a smile in this city.

. . .

Okay, it’s an hour later. The anti-mobility maven is long gone. In his place is a woman who has the face of a 65-year-old and the body of a 16-year-old -- in good shape. She’s wearing those black, skin-tight pedal pushers, black tennis shoes, and a black exercise jacket. Her computer is a nice, new 17-inch black HP with the glossy black fascia. Her hair is blond, and in a cute little pigtail. She is typing as I write this…at her side is a printout of an exercise schedule that I believe she is updating (the copy has lots of notes scribbled on it). As she types, her lips move in concert with her fingertips.

Her body is positively perfect. I think her brain may have been short-sheeted, but her body. My god. The incongruity of face and body is somewhat creepy, in a Stepford kinda way. To be honest, she’s kind of freaking me out.

Still amused. Back to work.

 

*March 6, 2008 (delayed post)

3 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

They used to say people resembled their pets. Now people resemeble their computers.

Carlos Ferrao said...

Profiling people through their portable electronics? I have a tablet pc, a Sony walkman (mp3, not audio tapes!) and a Razr phone. What does that make me? What would you make of me?

Clifford said...

Carlito,

You're a freak. I think you should know that about yourself -- it's clear by your choices. The tablet upped your geek-cool quotient, but it was torn back down with the Sony Walkman MP3 player, that screams out "non-conformist to a fault". And then there's the Razr, which says, "I'll conform if I wanna!", so you're bouncing back and forth like a handball batted about by a jock on a steroid-induced rage. Get help, man, quick!

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This is me and one of my two cats. His name is Cougar, and he’s an F1 Chausie. A chausie is a new breed of cat under development. Chausies are the result of a cross between a domestic cat (in Cougar’s case, a Bengal) and a jungle cat (Felis Chaus). Cougar’s mom is 8 pounds and his father is a 30-pound jungle cat. He’s about 16 pounds, super intelligent, spirited, and toilet trained. A writer without a cat (or two) is not to be trusted.