Ink Sucking is Embarrassing

My cat, Cougar, has an ink fetish. Okay, I rarely use ink anymore as I do most of my writing on my tablet, but from time to time I end up writing a phone number or to do items on a scrap of paper using a pen, and well, my cat Cougar can smell the ink even in his sleep.

So I go about my business and Cougar sneaks over to whatever I've written on and LICKS the ink right off the page. I mean, to the point where I've come back to call the number I've written and I can't, because he's licked the ink almost completely off the paper.

Understand, this happens EVERY time I use an ink pen. He knows he's not supposed to do it, so he waits until my attention is averted. Most of the time I hear a sandpaper like sound and look up to see what it is, and catch him in the embarrassing act.

Tonight, at my writers meeting, one of the members put his pages down on the floor. It was loud in the room because we're a boisterous bunch, so nobody heard him licking away until it was too late. When he was finally noticed, he was like rubbing his head on it, having one of those "eww" moments where you don't wanna think about kitty orgasms, but you must.

And yes, by the time he was discovered, the page was wet and limp and most of the words were gone.

Why couldn't I have gotten a cat that liked humping pillows or constantly licking his privates, or any of the other, socially acceptable fetishes? I had to end up with an ink sucker.