He made me this way.
You see, my dad didn’t believe in giving up. He didn’t believe in failure. He didn’t believe in “can’t”. So when I went to him with a question, his response was always something along the lines of “sound it out”, even when the ‘e’ was silent. So I did, and in the process, I learned not to ask questions. To depend on no one but myself.
So I spent most of the weekend struggling with my C++ homework. It was grueling. It was painful. It was confusing, and 10 hours in, I was no closer to ‘done’ than when I’d begun. So I went to class today, empty-handed. Oh, I had my assignment, but it was about 50% complete, and that 50% didn’t work.
And I was ready for my ‘F’ on the assignment, because I’d done my best and failed (dad also instilled the importance of doing one’s best – if you had, you had nothing to feel bad about). Anyway, it turned out that many many students were just as confused as I was and sent the instructor emails asking questions. So he gave us a little more instruction today and gave us another day to complete the project.
Lucky? Yeah, real lucky. It’s still not gonna be easy, but tonight, before I close my eyes, I’ll be able to do so knowing I have either come up with the result or come damn close.
I need to get over my inability to ask for help. I really do.