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Monday, July 13, 2009

I am my father’s son

He made me this way.

You see, my dad didn’t believe in giving up. He didn’t believe in failure. He didn’t believe in “can’t”. So when I went to him with a question, his response was always something along the lines of “sound it out”, even when the ‘e’ was silent. So I did, and in the process, I learned not to ask questions. To depend on no one but myself.

So I spent most of the weekend struggling with my C++ homework. It was grueling. It was painful. It was confusing, and 10 hours in, I was no closer to ‘done’ than when I’d begun. So I went to class today, empty-handed. Oh, I had my assignment, but it was about 50% complete, and that 50% didn’t work.

And I was ready for my ‘F’ on the assignment, because I’d done my best and failed (dad also instilled the importance of doing one’s best – if you had, you had nothing to feel bad about). Anyway, it turned out that many many students were just as confused as I was and sent the instructor emails asking questions. So he gave us a little more instruction today and gave us another day to complete the project.

Lucky? Yeah, real lucky. It’s still not gonna be easy, but tonight, before I close my eyes, I’ll be able to do so knowing I have either come up with the result or come damn close.

I need to get over my inability to ask for help. I really do.

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This is me and one of my two cats. His name is Cougar, and he’s an F1 Chausie. A chausie is a new breed of cat under development. Chausies are the result of a cross between a domestic cat (in Cougar’s case, a Bengal) and a jungle cat (Felis Chaus). Cougar’s mom is 8 pounds and his father is a 30-pound jungle cat. He’s about 16 pounds, super intelligent, spirited, and toilet trained. A writer without a cat (or two) is not to be trusted.